"Honor Roll"
The Longest Limerick Poem Ever Written
Contents of these pages ©2000, by Joel D. Ash
According to authoritative sources, the longest limerick poem ever written (prior to this one) was sixty stanzas in length. HONOR ROLL is one hundred and four stanzas long. There are two introductory stanzas, then one hundred stanzas for each of the hundred people on my personal honor roll, and finally, two closing stanzas.
To break up the reading into somewhat smaller bites, I have occasionally interspersed some pictures of great works done by some of the outstanding artists on my honor list. I hope that you enjoy the visuals as well as the poetry.
HONOR ROLL
This list is my own honor roll,
Famous names that I choose to extol;
Reflecting my leanings,
My own special screenings,
Great women and men on my scroll.
The decision of just where to start,
One hundred not ranked in my heart;
You may not agree,
As I move A to Z,
But you'll see why I set each apart.
- - - - - - -
Aristotle a Greek so unique,
Gives hint of the names that I seek;
A master of logic,
With feats pedagogic,
His method is hard to critique.
Issac Asimov I classify,
As a great in the field of sci-fi;
He was so prolific,
His stories terrific,
I'll buy all his books by-and-by.
The music of Bach is not rock,
Just listen and turn back the clock;
A sound that surpasses,
His hymns for the masses,
Sweet notes from a distant epoch.
Beethoven is second to none,
Symphonies that were never outdone;
A child prodigy,
That you have to agree,
Was that one in a million and one.
Francis Bacon with writing instructive,
Promoted thought methods inductive;
His witty essays,
Assayed so much praise,
He was knighted for thinking constructive.
Clara Barton's life shines beyond gloss,
Preventing much battlefield loss;
The ultimate nurse,
Deserving of verse,
She founded the U.S. Red Cross.
The next man was not a dumb-bell,
Alexander G. Bell did quite well;
In his lab all alone,
He invented the phone,
To call Watson he never need yell.
Botticelli, a painter first-rate,
"Birth of Venus" - - female incarnate;
On the half shell her form,
Beauty far beyond norm,
A perfection one can't duplicate.
The Buddha transcends time and space,
With teachings so many embrace;
Siddhartha enlightened,
Transfigured and brightened,
With grace way above commonplace,
Dame Agatha Christie so clever,
Her mysteries will live on forever;
Who did the killing,
I bet you a shilling,
You won't guess the ending - - no, never.
Winston Churchill a man that inspired,
Helped ensure Adolf Hitler backfired;
His Nobel Prize writing,
Of World War Two fighting,
Just added to why he's admired.
Columbus a man with a vision,
Pressed forward despite much derision;
He sailed the Atlantic,
Achievement gigantic,
Discovery and world map revision.
Confucius had great things to say,
Rare wisdom was spread from Cathay;
Moral values promoted,
Though often misquoted,
His thoughts still apply to this day.
Jimmy Connors would not seem to fit,
Not honored for balls that he hit;
Fighting spirit unique,
A career beyond peak,
Ageless effort that just did not quit.
Copernicus working with math,
Uncovered a new science path;
Forget geocentric,
Sun system concentric,
New knowledge in his aftermath.
Aaron Copland with talent possessed,
Wrote music about East and West;
First there's "Billy the Kid",
"Rodeo", he outdid,
"Appalachian Spring" was his best.
Jacques Cousteau won his fame below water,
Books and films as a sea life reporter;
Aqualung his invention,
Research his intention,
Great depth to this nature supporter.
Cyrano was a playwright and writer,
Science fiction and wordsmith delighter;
He had a long nose,
And that's why I suppose,
With his sword he won fame as a fighter.
Charles Darwin a natural selection,
The Galapagos, place of inspection;
Theories of evolution,
That sparked revolution,
And overcame lots of objection.
Diogenes' standards were high,
The morals of men made him sigh;
He started a search,
For a man without smirch,
Someone honest who could qualify.
Animation was Walt Disney's forte,
"Steamboat Willie", his first, was quite short;
We loved Mickey Mouse,
And Minnie, his spouse,
Family values that were the right sort.
Sherlock Holmes was the best of his kind,
Straight out of the Conan Doyle mind;
This master detective,
Not clueless, effective,
The culprit he always could find.
Mary Baker Eddy gets approval,
Using mind for an illness removal;
Her spiritual way,
To pray every day,
Christian Science a good thought improval.
Thomas Edison's days were all spent,
On working on things to invent;
Sound from a disc,
Light in a whisk,
Inspirations of endless extent.
Albert Einstein in physics supreme,
Proving gravity bends a light beam;
Great thought interlinking,
With relative thinking,
Explaining the cosmos his dream.
Eisenhower deserves a big hand,
For success of his D-day command;
As president, he,
Usually satisfied me,
By maintaining good times in our land.
Erte is a name less well-known,
A designer whose work truly shone;
At Harper's Bazaar,
Covers far above par,
Then fine sculptures I would love to own.
Bobby Fisher my favorite chess master,
Much smarter and better and faster;
A natural knack,
For surprise in attack,
For opponents he was a disaster.
Ben Franklin wore many a hat,
A printer and great diplomat;
Inventor accolades,
A true jack of all trades,
And a statesman on top of all that.
Sigmund Freud while exploring neurosis,
Used hypnosis to aid diagnosis;
Sex cause overdone,
But he still is someone,
History will rate great - - my prognosis.
Robert Frost and New England entwine,
His prize winning poems are divine;
New Hampshire observed,
Gold medal deserved,
Frost line melting your heart and mine.
Galileo caused quite a commotion,
Falling bodies and new laws of motion;
Though forced to recant,
He had the right slant,
In support of a sun centered notion.
I admire Mahatma Gandhi,
Nonviolence pursued with esprit;
His methods believed,
Much progress achieved,
Leadership of the highest degree.
George Gershwin wrote music to last,
Bewitching the mood that is cast;
A lovely prelude,
A brilliant etude,
Rhapsody interlude from the past.
The Gilbert and Sullivan pair,
Share the credit for operas quite rare;
"Pinafore" so amusing,
"Penzance" so enthusing,
"Mikado" had great comic flair.
John Glenn was an astronaut ace,
He helped us to win the space race;
A Senator too,
Still far from through,
He trains to retrace flight in space.
Mikhail Gorbachev did what was right,
While restraining the Soviet might;
"Perestroika" was new,
"Glastnost" overdue,
The Cold War he thawed without fight.
Nathan Hale, an American spy,
Was caught, but he knew how to die;
Only one life to give,
Famous words that still live,
Glorified every Fourth of July.
Stephen Hawking a man to extol,
In his mind he explores a black hole;
Bound in a wheelchair,
Cosmic concepts to share,
The advancement of physics his goal.
Hippocrates lived long ago,
Though his ethics are quite apropos;
His standards so high,
Today still apply,
A thing modern doctors should know.
Winslow Homer an artist with skill,
Coastal scenes that I see and love still;
Man against sea,
Full sails to the lee,
Watercolors that ever will thrill.
Houdini a special salute,
Master showman we know was astute;
Escapes so first-rate,
That it helped elevate,
Magic shows to a high world repute.
Thomas Jefferson penned such grand thought,
High ideals worth the war to be fought,
Independance declared,
Revolution we dared,
What he sought was achieved and well wrought.
Jesus had many lessons to teach,
His parables well worth the preach;
His words from the heart,
Will forever impart,
Lasting meaning and powerful reach.
Joan of Arc was a true heroine,
Leading troops in an inspired win;
She listened to voices,
Made difficult choices,
And burned for beliefs deep within.
Michael Jordan is "the" pro, we know,
And his bank accounts all overflow;
But that is not why,
I rank him so high,
He's a role model - - bravissimo!
Kepler, a man who was able,
To work out a neat planet table;
His orbit ellipses,
All past work eclipses,
Which earned him the true genius label.
Alfred Kinsey did research on sex,
Landmark study so huge and complex;
Answers shedding new light,
On all things that delight,
One of which was to thumb his index.
Martin Luther King Jr.'s grand dream,
Well pursued with a nonviolent scheme;
Marching and singing,
His message still ringing,
A black man that good folks esteem.
Robert E. Lee at West Point,
The North thought worthwhile to appoint;
He followed his heart,
And played a skilled part,
Southern hero I choose to anoint.
Leonardo ranks high on my list,
Man of vision and master artist;
A talented draftsman,
An excellent craftsman,
Much more, but you now have the gist.
Lewis and Clark blazed a trail,
Overcoming hard times and travail;
They passed every test,
To open our West,
Exploration done on a grand scale.
Lincoln, this country well served,
The Union of States he preserved;
Beyond any measure,
A national treasure,
Salutes and high honors deserved.
Longfellow wrote many fine lines,
The "Evangeline" greatness defines;
His "Blacksmith" lines ring,
"Hiawatha" words sing,
"Paul Revere" and his midnight ride shines.
Martin Luther refused to conform,
Taking action to lead church reform;
His bible translation,
Urged faith for salvation,
This friar ranked far above norm.
James Madison led in the fights,
For adoption of our "Bill of Rights";
This government framer,
A truly high aimer,
A theorist with great new insights.
George Marshall a true nobel man,
He pushed through his great Marshall Plan;
For being so wise,
He won the Peace Prize,
Doing more than one generally can.
Michelangelo right from the start,
Demonstrated true genius in art;
The "Pieta", no flaw,
His "David" draws awe,
"The Last Judgment" enshrined in my heart.
Golda Meir, many thanks,
An Israeli who rose through the ranks;
Taking the lead,
She realized the need,
To make peace and not just to make tanks.
Glenn Miller created new sound,
His music still holds me spellbound;
My favorites include,
His great "In the Mood",
"String of Pearls" will forever resound.
Claude Monet made a lasting impression,
His paintings a priceless possession;
"Waterlilies" I love,
But not far above,
Many others in timeless succession.
Moses, who parted the sea,
Much more than mere legend to me;
The Promised Land sought,
The word of God brought,
Great leader who set people free.
Mozart was a child prodigy,
Whose hundreds of works guarantee;
An impact to last,
Chamber music high classed,
Still enjoyed by devotees and me.
Ogden Nash makes the list, I insist,
His rhymes I find hard to resist;
Clever lines I adore,
And thus I implore,
That his poetry not be dismissed.
Issac Newton accomplished so much,
Gravitation and motion and such;
Telescope, first reflecting,
White light, first dissecting,
All science would feel his grand touch.
Nostradamus great scholars maintain,
Made predictions much more than mundane;
Fate of countries and kings,
Coming wars and odd things,
All revealed in a seer's quatrain.
Omar Khayyam in Persia quite noted,
To math and the stars so devoted;
To law and history,
Medicine, some degree,
But today just his poem is well quoted.
Thomas Paine had such great common sense,
Independence views felt so intense;
A common man's voice,
A strong honor choice,
Impact on our country immense.
George S. Patton a hero indeed,
Great general in time of world need;
Not just a bystander,
A battle commander,
Strong vision and truly tough breed.
Louis Pasteur a chemist in France,
"Germ" theories a great new advance;
The germs were defeated,
By milk gently heated,
High honors deserved for his stance.
I love to read works done by Poe,
Short stories and poems with great flow;
His dark side stupendous,
His mysteries tremendous,
Macabre on the highest plateau.
Marco Polo in far-off Cathay,
Learned much quite unknown in his day;
He wrote it all down,
Thus gaining renown,
For himself and the new Chinese way.
Cole Porter wrote music endearing,
The kind that is not disappearing;
His lyrics urbane,
In a lasting refrain,
Many songs that I always love hearing.
Elvis Presley the rock and roll king,
With music I love more than swing;
His platinum and gold,
Will never grow old,
Not an actor, but God, he could sing.
Ayn Rand had a great point of view,
Self-made man, virtue not to eschew;
"Atlas Shrugged" was reread,
A twice read "Fountainhead",
Great new thoughts that I found ringing true.
Ronald Reagan a man I respect,
Key accomplishments in retrospect;
He won the cold war,
And please don't ignore,
Budget concepts I thought were correct.
I am a Rembrandt acolyte,
All hail to "the" master of light;
His helmut of gold,
A joy to behold,
Many paintings an eyesight delight.
Frederic Remington painted the West,
His scenes an immortal bequest;
Indians unsurpassed,
Gorgeous bronze sculptures cast,
Every one from a sculptor well blest.
One more artist whose name starts with R,
An exemplar by name of Renoir;
His paintings beguile,
In impressionist style,
A new school he helped lead as a star.
Eleanor was a great Roosevelt,
In the White House deservedly dwelt;
Politically active,
World problems reactive,
First lady with love that's heartfelt.
FDR who would win a fourth term,
Got many things done while infirm;
To lead and succeed,
In a time of world need,
So insightful and warm but quite firm.
Teddy Roosevelt also a pick,
Speaking softly while holding a stick;
Doing things right,
Not afraid of a fight,
Thus deserving his own limerick.
William Shakespeare a fantastic bard,
Great works held in highest regard;
His sonnets and plays,
Ever brighten man's days,
Shining tip of the writer's vanguard.
William Shockley had physicist skill,
Less famed, but still ranked a great Will;
He opened new vistas,
Inventing transistors,
To make lasting mark without quill.
Adam Smith had a great recipe,
His idea - - simply keep markets free;
Wealth out of labor,
Of you and your neighbor,
"Invisible hand" - - you and me.
Socrates with impact immemorial,
Truth and virtue within his tutorial;
Learn asking questions,
High moral suggestions,
The greatness of one professorial.
King Solomon, reverent and wise,
A reign when fine things maximize;
A great temple built,
Opulence without guilt,
And the lilt of his poems mesmerize.
John Philip Sousa, "March King"
Bandmaster with tunes of grand ring;
His marines got a hand,
Up upon the bandstand,
Land of red, white, and blue was his thing.
Steven Spielberg makes movies I see,
His involvement a strong guarantee;
Entertainment, emotion,
Artistic devotion,
A winner - - at least nominee.
Tchaikovsky a treat for esthete,
Compositions replete with notes sweet;
He makes feelings soar,
"1812" cannons roar,
"Swan Lake" and the "Nutcracker Suite".
Teresa a motherly saint,
Her charity work without taint;
A life oh so pure,
Aiding India's poor,
Noble effort without a complaint.
Harry S. Truman was strong,
Important things right - - seldom wrong;
A man of decision,
His actions had vision,
In office he grew to belong.
Mark Twain of the humorous vein,
In my heart will remain without wane;
So embedded therein,
Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn,
"A Connecticut Yankee" domain.
Jules Verne has a spot there as well,
Heart place where adventure can dwell;
Balloonists surviving,
Or Nemo deep diving,
The future his stories foretell.
George Washington chopped down a tree,
More important, he set our land free;
No kingly desire,
A man to admire,
Devotee of true liberty.
Daniel Webster was famed for oration,
His life spent in serving our nation;
It's not common knowledge,
He saved Dartmouth College,
The reason he gets this ovation.
H.G. Wells wrote three books I adore,
His concepts great fun to explore;
A time machine tale,
An invisible male,
Two planets engaged in space war.
Simon Wiesenthal led the pursuit,
Of Nazis we should prosecute;
A justice zealot,
One who never forgot,
Single-minded, he earned his repute.
Frank Lloyd Wright had a flair for design,
His buildings would grace the skyline;
Ideas so far-sighted,
His houses delighted,
I wish that he had designed mine.
To Wilbur and Orville of flight,
Who bravely took off like a kite;
In Kitty Hawk sky,
They proved man could fly,
Two brothers that flew oh so Wright.
- - - - - - -
One hundred names honored in rhyme,
Each one with achievements sublime;
All carefully selected,
With many rejected,
Those others might make it some time.
Yes, many deserving high praise,
Ones who bettered our world in choice ways;
With careful decision,
Perhaps a revision,
But most of the list always stays.
Copyright 1998 by Joel D. Ash
All Rights Reserved
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