Poetic Limericks with a Touch of Humor
Three examples
Contents of these pages ©2000, by Joel D. Ash
I have written quite a few poems that could be
characterized as humorous poetic limericks, a
mixture of humor and serious verse. The first
example is from the FOOD FOR THOUGHT section of
POTPOURRI OF THE MIND, page 66.
A HELL OF A BIRTHDAY
The devil relaxing in hell,
His wife suddenly drops a bombshell;
"Junior's birthday is Monday,
He wants ice cream sundae,
Vanilla should taste really swell."
Satan's face turns a new shade of red,
"My dear, you are out of your head;
With all of this heat,
The ice cream you eat,
Will be more like hot soup instead."
Mrs. Devil replies - - "Honey, please.
This problem can be solved with ease.
Don't be orthodox.
Let's get an icebox.
For one day in hell we can freeze."
Satan's face is now a shocked white.
"Dear heart, I do not want to fight.
Your plan is not cool.
I'll look like a fool.
For devils the cold is not right."
His wife nods her head and just smiles,
Even satan falls for female wiles.
"It will ruin Junior's day.
I know what he'll say.
Down here we are simply exiles."
Satan knows what he will have to do,
"Well, perhaps for an hour or two.
Not too much ice.
A small sacrifice.
We can't have our boy eating goo."
Copyright 1997 by Joel D. Ash - - All Rights
Reserved
The next example is from the ODDITIES AND MAGIC
section of POTPOURRI OF THE MIND. This poem entitled
MERLIN AND THE FIRE DRAGON TRICK is on page 92. I
have written many poems about various aspects of magic
and this is one of my favorites.
MERLIN AND THE FIRE DRAGON TRICK
King Arthur has old Merlin sought,
The magician foresees why he's brought;
"I know all you desire,
I will assist, sire,
I've given the matter great thought.
The king smiles with amazed delight,
"The prince is five in a fortnight.
A nice magic show.
A half hour or so.
But no tricks that will cause the kids fright."
Merlin frowns and is slightly insulted,
"Last year you were fully consulted.
A minor mistake.
That kid in the lake.
Just a bit small to be catapulted."
The king nods and speaks very sweetly,
"His mother forgave you completely.
Just take more care.
A big crowd will be there.
It's important the show goes off neatly."
Merlin smiles and describes his new trick,
"This trick is the best I could pick.
A dragon appears.
Smoke pours from his ears.
His breath lights a large candlestick."
The king is unsure when he's done,
Fire dragons are something to shun;
"There must be no hassle.
Don't burn down the castle.
No guests set on fire for fun!
Copyright 1997 by Joel D. Ash - - All Rights
Reserved
The last example, A SHAKESPEAREAN WHODUNIT is from A
SOJOURN IN LIMERICK, page 31. It is the initial poem
in the MORE POEMS FROM THE DARKER SIDE section. I
have written a number of poems which relate to the
great bard in some fashion, often with a touch of
humor.
A SHAKESPEAREAN WHODUNIT
In this tale of mystery and death,
Romeo lusts for Lady Macbeth;
Juliet's murder foul,
The police on the prowl,
To discover who taketh her breath.
The suspects are much more than two,
Much ado about who, but no clue;
Hamlet may be involved,
And before this is solved,
You must add even old Montague.
Juliet was both rich and a bitch,
With an itch for a frequent beau switch;
Hecate hated her guts,
She drove all witches nuts,
Did they kill her? - - who knows? - - and which witch?
Time of death in the midst of mealtime,
After drinking a lemon and lime;
Poison clearly was used,
But the glass when perused,
Showed no fingerprints solving the crime.
Alibis that turn out quite airtight,
Romeo out of town on that night;
Witches all are avouched,
Hamlet safely was couched,
Denouement that is not within sight.
With the end of this poem drawing near,
Who and why still remain most unclear;
Shakespeare shaking his head,
As he heads back to bed,
On the morrow he fingers King Lear.
Copyright 1999 by Joel D. Ash - - All Rights
Reserved
If you like my poetry...
Here's how you can order my books
POTPOURRI OF THE MIND
80 poems in the Poetic Limerick style
or A SOJOURN IN LIMERICK
80 more poems, also in the Poetic Limerick style
or
One of my online books. THE GREEN HEART and SURROUNDINGS have accompanying photos to enhance the poetic impact. You can download these books and print them out on your printer.
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